Since your last turn:

• Faceless Bureaucrat said "RE: Recent Health and Safety Infractions; 
CLASSIFICATION: Procedurally Significant" (22 hours and 15 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "It has come to my attention, through direct personal experience approximately 16 hours and seven minutes ago, that this facility does not comply with Workplace Safety Directive 341-B, “Safe Conduct Whilst Dismantling Fake Christmas Trees.”" (22 hours and 15 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "As a civil servant who has now been subjected to what the Health and Safety Executive classifies as a “Nearly Near-Miss Workplace Accident Involving Inadequately Secured Ornaments and Decor,” 
" (22 hours and 14 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "I am obligated to inform all present parties that mandatory safety training must commence at the earliest possible opportunity." (22 hours and 14 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "The Department of Apocalyptic Workplace Safety and Compliance (DAWSC) will need to be formally contacted via Form WS-22, Request for Emergency Safety Training During Ongoing Catastrophic Events." (22 hours and 14 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "I have taken the liberty of beginning to complete this 27-page document, despite the mild trauma to my person and, above all, my clipboard." (22 hours and 14 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "All present during this incident must complete Workplace Accident Witness Statement 104-F. 
" (22 hours and 13 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "This includes zombies, who may dictate their observations to any available survivor with stenography and zamgrh qualifications. No exceptions will be permitted, regardless of undead status." (22 hours and 13 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "I must further advise that, in accordance with Regulatory Framework 77.3, paragraph 12, subsection C, the incident will necessitate the completion of no fewer than eight separate accident reports, including but not limited to:" (22 hours and 13 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "1. Form ACC-47: Preliminary Incident Notification" (22 hours and 13 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "2. Form ACC-48: Detailed Incident Description with Exact Measurements" (22 hours and 12 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "3. Form ACC-49: Psychological Impact Assessment" (22 hours and 12 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "4. Form ACC-50: Equipment Damage Inventory" (22 hours and 12 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "5. Form ACC-51: Workplace Environmental Factors Contributing to Incident" (22 hours and 12 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "6. Form ACC-52: Pre-Existing Christmas Tree Deficiencies" (22 hours and 11 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "7. Form ACC-53: Projected Productivity Impact Analysis" (22 hours and 11 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "8. Form ACC-54: Recommended Preventative Measures for Future Apocalyptic Scenarios" (22 hours and 11 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Training on proper fake plastic tree dismantling techniques must be conducted before any further accident is permitted to occur. The fact that the world is ending is, from a regulatory standpoint, irrelevant to safety requirements." (22 hours and 11 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "I shall be noting this incident in my quarterly performance review, though I anticipate little impact on my civil service progression, given the imminent extinction of life and unlife in Malton." (22 hours and 10 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "With unwavering bureaucratic resolve, The Auditor, National Audit Office Employee #45622-B" (22 hours and 10 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Faceless Bureucrat, as a fire safety officer, I have to point out that the 27 page document plus subsequent 8 forms ACC-47 through to 54, constitutes a fire hazard." (21 hours and 43 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Fire Safety Directive FSD 809.2 C states that no more than 30 sheets of paper can be in close vicinity to aforementioned Christmas tree, especially in the presence of lights, unless an adequate sprinkler system is in the building." (21 hours and 41 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Due to slack maintenance brought upon us by a 19 year quarantine, the nearest adequate sprinkiing system is located on the other side of the wall." (21 hours and 39 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "As such I will need to fill in form FSD-RA IC1, explaining how we can mitigate having more than 30 sheets of paper near a Christmas tree." (21 hours and 38 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Given that this form is in fact 31 pages long, I need to complete this form in a separate building from the tree." (21 hours and 37 minutes ago)
• Leon Silverblood revivified a zombie. (21 hours and 36 minutes ago)
• SweetIrony stood up. (21 hours and 32 minutes ago)
• SweetIrony said "Thanks, Leon!" (21 hours and 32 minutes ago)
• Cain Cohen said "Wowzer - and a basically-open-door at Quartly. 😎🚬👉 Lordy, I forgot how nice it was to just WALTZ IN here." (20 hours and 23 minutes ago)
• Cain Cohen said "[thumbs at the carcass stuffed thru a suspiciously large mouse hole] They'll figure it out when they wake up, one way or the other." (20 hours and 22 minutes ago)
• A zombie brought down the last of the barricades. (19 hours and 21 minutes ago)
• A zombie tore a set of Christmas lights down. (19 hours and 21 minutes ago) ...and again.
• A zombie killed SweetIrony. (19 hours and 20 minutes ago)
• SweetIrony rose from the dead as a zombie. (19 hours and 18 minutes ago)
• the Cannibal King said "*farts loudly* Malton offers so much in terms of raw ingreejients, just lying aroond. It really was a cannibal paradise!" (18 hours and 22 minutes ago)
• Kara Nimi revivified a zombie. (18 hours and 19 minutes ago)
• SweetIrony stood up. (18 hours and 17 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Hangrh!h!" (14 hours and 34 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "Whats up party people! I see you guys are hanging out with zombies. And they ugh" (14 hours and 12 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "they taking a bite out of you guys LOL. I hope you guys are going great in life. I will miss this game" (14 hours and 12 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "Oh that was the older medical book Banokles, no relation to the tv show. *Leans in and whispers.* We did manage to liberate a vcr from the RRF when they came to celebrate my coronation to Head Nurse though. I think Mr Doctorz was doing something distracti" (13 hours and 28 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "ng with a banana. We still have it back at home. The vcr not the banana, I think Mr Doctorz took that with him. Actually come to think of it we also have Grey's Anatomy back home too, but only the odd numbered seasons. The even numbered seasons are in" (13 hours and 24 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "Eligius... I think we left like all the bonus material and interviews in Urban General? And all the spin-off shows are in St. Gregory's. *Frey the Wombat pushes a replica of The Persistence of Memory in front of Lost.* Oh dear. *Returns to normal volume.*" (13 hours and 18 minutes ago)
• A zombie killed Frito The Bandito. (13 hours and 14 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "We're running out of time. Or is time running out on us? It certainly feels like the latter. I haven't even finished any of the 3 possible lectures I could give... or started for that matter. I don't know what poem to say for the last Poetry Thursday!" (13 hours and 11 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "And I certainly don't know if the Lizard Pope can grant indulgences to humans! And like what's the relationship between the Pope and the Cult of the Stuffed Crocodile? Is that what the Pope's lecture will be about? The people need to know! Or at least the" (13 hours and 7 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Graagh." (13 hours and 6 minutes ago) ...and again.
• A zombie said "Mrh?" (13 hours and 6 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "lizard people need to know! *Frey snuffles.* Oh right. *Lost does breathing exercises while writing out potential speeches on palm leaves.* Carry the Doodle... Add the Palimpsest... Scream the Dodecahedron... Or was it carry the dodecahedron?" (13 hours and 3 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Graagh." (13 hours and 3 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 59 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "Hello Zombie! I hope you are doing well! Are you here to borrow a book?" (12 hours and 51 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Hello all the numbers, do you want a revive? I'll go grab a needle." (12 hours and 50 minutes ago)
• Banokles revivified a zombie. (12 hours and 48 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "The VCR's in Ethelbert? Amazing, I've got an old tape of London's Burning which I'm dying to watch. Reminds me of the simpler times, when the only danger was fire. Well fire, and car crashes." (12 hours and 40 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "*Pauses and thinks* The two main dangers were Fire, car crashes, oh and kittens stuck up trees. How that episode was ever made to seem dangerous I don't know, it's a cute fluffy ball of fur, but when the branch broke and Fireman Sam fell" (12 hours and 38 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Oh wait, that wasn't London's Burning, it was Fireman Sam. How was a Kids TV show fire station better equipped than any in Malton? They had a fire helicopter." (12 hours and 37 minutes ago)
• SweetIrony said "H! zambah hranz!! The only one of you I recognize is Lexus Nexus. Hi Lexus!! It's been a long time." (11 hours and 34 minutes ago)
• SweetIrony said "So let's see who we have here... burning icarus5 185426, Martin Kohlroser 1858945, Goreguzzle 804768, The Lizard Pope 1227276, Persistant 1359930, K e v a n Davis 1 2389524, poopoo zombie 171062" (11 hours and 24 minutes ago)
• SweetIrony said "Some of you look kinda sus, not gonna lie guys. Well, do any of you want a book? I highly recommend the Harrah Rotter series! https://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/Harrah_Rotter" (11 hours and 21 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Grrh mrh ba m NA!" (9 hours and 49 minutes ago)
• Mike LeGrande slapped you with a newspaper. (7 hours and 51 minutes ago)
• Mike LeGrande said "Wait a second, that's a free action!" (7 hours and 50 minutes ago)
• Mike LeGrande said "Free in that it's not stabbing you with a bladed weapon, I mean." (7 hours and 50 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Mrh?" (7 hours and 35 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Mah nahz zahmbah" (7 hours and 35 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Mrh?" (7 hours and 35 minutes ago)
• A zombie gestured at itself. (7 hours and 34 minutes ago)
• Si Fast refuelled the generator. (7 hours and 30 minutes ago)
• Si Fast said "hello old friends and fiends!" (7 hours and 29 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "Yup we even have a device that plays dvds as well. I hesitate to call it a dvd player even though that technically what it is since it can perform that function but it definitely wasn't meant to do that originally. How Frey managed to cross a defibrillato" (7 hours and 16 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "r, a Mr Spell, and a shoe fitter x-ray together to play the Princess Bride I'll never be sure. *Frey snuffles and draws Lost's attention to an obsidian sundial glowing with a mysterious blood red light.* So little time. *Lost coughs and steps up to the" (7 hours and 12 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "podium.* In the sad but likely case I don't get around to delivering any of the final lectures I had envisioned, I wanted to at least offer my heartfelt thanks. First to SweetIrony and any who have assisted them in the various efforts surrounding the" (7 hours and 6 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "UD Reunion. It has been a wonderful effort whose importance has only been heightend by recent events. Though the reconnections for myself have been few it has still been a pleasure to witness the many living legends reconstituted for one last visit, and a" (7 hours and 1 minute ago)
• Ged7 revivified a zombie. (6 hours and 55 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "more general thanks to the QSG. Even after all of these years I have never forged a particularly personal friendship with your members but I have always respected your unique contributions to the city and to the suburb that helped make Roftwood one of" (6 hours and 53 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "the more interesting locales of our walled world. I have been grateful to work alongside you in the long effort of maintaining and often rebuilding our homes in the face of some of the most powerful and notable forces in the city. To ZombGG and the member" (6 hours and 45 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "s of the Roftwood Elite as well as the independents and all others that participated in the RCC, well it was a wild ride wasn't it? The most active of it was some of the best action this part of the city or perhaps any part of the city had seen in quite" (6 hours and 37 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "some time. And the mini-renaissance that my own beloved MMS experienced due to it's participation was truly a dear source of joy for me after so much time of quiet dwindling. There were some hard stressful nights in there and plenty of frustration but on" (6 hours and 31 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "the other side of the ride back to the quiet again, I am glad to have been there for it. Of course all our healing and reviving that was the primary purpose of my group wouldn't have been possible without the many various foes who we have run, hidden, and" (6 hours and 19 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "fought. Untold numbers of ferals, our oldest and most deadly foe the RRF who I hope we made choke a little from laughter as they devoured our flesh. 'Newer' threats like the Scourge. The many pker's who didn't just slay but slew with style, entertainment," (6 hours and 11 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "and occasionally education. Really to truly do justice even in an abbreviated speech of thanks I'd need another year, a much better memory, better records, and at least 3 body doubles to step in when I get distracted mid word by a song with dancing badger" (6 hours and 7 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "s and fungi. And the hour grows late and I grow tired, and I still want to give a half baked lecture about cloning. So, apologies to the many wonderful and awful people I have not been able to name by group, vocation, or well name. Maybe I'll thank you" (6 hours and 1 minute ago)
• lostfire said "personally if I'm struck by random rememberance or when I'm on the other side and can bug Sainted Pete to see his list. But until then cheers to etcetera!" (5 hours and 58 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "*Lost steps down to rest for the next round.* Make a note Frey if I forget I made this speech and give it again make sure I thank different people or if I do thank the same people let's address them in obscure vaguely coded ways so that multiple people" (5 hours and 52 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "can interpret it as if I'm addressing them... Although I'm not running for office so maybe it shouldn't be too coded. Something subtle like 'I appreciate all those animals that are relatively close to us even if they did try and bite me when I hugged them" (5 hours and 49 minutes ago)
• JerzyJJ said "*clap clap*" (5 hours and 47 minutes ago)
• lostfire said "and called them adorable' *Yawns* Ok short nap then we do something unhinged. *Lost climbs onto a bean bag that appears to be patterned with images of screaming books with teeth.*" (5 hours and 46 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones stood up. (5 hours and 44 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones said "Ugh, gross. I have zombie gunk on me. Thanks for the revive ged7." (5 hours and 44 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Well said LostFire, those were fun times resisting the RRF (or at least trying to, feisty fiends that they are). I toured Malton, chasing the hordes, oh, and running away from them, a citywide game of hide and seek. I joined the DHPD, the MFD" (4 hours and 40 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "and The Fortress, but it was always Roftwood and the MMS I returned to, albeit as an ally. It was next door at Guilford Ave Fire Station where I first served in Malton, and here in Quartly Library where I first hunted zombies, not being aware of the truce" (4 hours and 38 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "I am sorry for all the zombies I used to farm XP, is that how the kids say it? Those learned zeds who I slayed so I too could learn the practical skills of survival." (4 hours and 38 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "It's also here where I first met Philosophe Knights, and learnt to praise knowledge. I did it cowardly at first, hiding behind a book to avoid being killed, but the more books I hit behind, the more knowledge I gained and my love for it grew." (4 hours and 36 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Did you know there are species of frogs in South America who live solely in the leaves of trees? They believe this pond to be the entire world, a flat Earth of water and nutrients, and have no knowledge of what lies beyond the fronds." (4 hours and 34 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Malton has become our leaf, for these last 19, nearly 20 years we have been confined by the fronds of the quarantine wall, only vaguely aware of other branches swaying in the distance." (4 hours and 33 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "And now, in the Autumn, we are aware that our leaf will Fall, that we will drift, but we know not what will happen when we hit the ground. Maybe we will rebound and land in a bigger pond on a more stable leaf? Or maybe we will sink into the mud" (4 hours and 32 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "and be consumed by the darkness, the blessed release of knowing nothing. For today we can praise knowledge, and tomorrow embrace emptiness." (4 hours and 31 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "The Vikings believed that those who died in battle would be gathered by Valkries, beautiful maidens who would carry them to Valhalla where they would feast for eternity. We, all of us, have been battling for so long, I hope to see you all in our Malhalla" (4 hours and 30 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "!h AM ZARR!h. HARMANZ ARH NAH AGZhARR!h BANANAZ. HARMANZ ARh ZAZAGrZ" (4 hours and 23 minutes ago)
• A zombie bit into you for 4 damage. (4 hours and 21 minutes ago)
• The zombie's bite was infected! (You'll now take 1HP damage for every action you take, except speaking. Infection can be cured with a first aid kit.) (4 hours and 21 minutes ago)
• Marcel Swann said "No fancy speeches, I'm just really going to miss this place. I'll feel so lost that first day when I don't log into UD because there's no more UD to log into. Salute Rangers, C4NT, and all our friends!" (4 hours and 14 minutes ago)
• Frito The Bandito rose from the dead as a zombie. (4 hours and 3 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Brnhr." (4 hours and 3 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Lexus Nexus, did you just say you are sorry, humans are not as good as bananas, humans are sausages? I'll drink to that. Are humans as good as rum? *Goes to hand the bottle over, then thinks better and pours some into Lexus Nexus's mouth*" (3 hours and 33 minutes ago)
• elgala said "b!g zgarah zambahz g!b b!g zgarah hagz!" (3 hours and 3 minutes ago)
• Kain Markko said "I’m definitely going to miss you all. Life went dark for me for awhile so I went dark on urban dead and all my friends. It was always nice to know it was still here to hop back into whenever I wanted to try and comeback. Here’s to you lostfire and the" (1 hour and 49 minutes ago)
• Kain Markko said "“Pours a full glass of vodka and downs it “" (1 hour and 49 minutes ago)
• Kain Markko said "And to ZombGG and the Roftwood Elite! “Pours another tall glass of vodka and chugs it down with tears streaming down “" (1 hour and 47 minutes ago)
• Kain Markko said "I have a few more bottles of vodka left if anyone wants a drink ! Please feel free to help yourself!🤠" (1 hour and 46 minutes ago)
• Kain Markko said "And one more glass for anyone that I missed “pours one more tall glass of vodka and slowly drinks it down”" (1 hour and 45 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "And now for a summary of some of Charles Darwin's thoughts on extinction:" (1 hour and 24 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "Species that died without leaving descendants Darwin called ‘utterly extinct’." (1 hour and 24 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "hey far outnumber the ancestors of all living things, so they resemble the dark matter of modern cosmology, which far outweighs visible matter." (1 hour and 23 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "He realized in 1837 that their absence is what creates the groups in a natural classification. In his Notebook B he combined the idea that species multiply with the idea that ancestors' relatives must mostly be extinct." (1 hour and 23 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "The fossil Megatherium was utterly extinct. The iconic branching ‘I think’ diagram shows extinction causing the origin of genera by eliminating intermediate species. Darwin’s concept of taxonomic ranks, starting with the genus, was informed by his" (1 hour and 23 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "interaction with taxonomists. Based on his familiarity with demography, Darwin reasoned that the survival of transitional forms was unlikely," (1 hour and 22 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "which helped him decide to focus at the species level. When drafting his theory in the 1840s, he left out these speculative ideas," (1 hour and 22 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "but they emerged again in the 1850s when he realized his theory needed a cause for branches to diverge." (1 hour and 22 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "His ecological answer worked at the species level, but his Principle of Divergence was unconvincing at higher taxonomic levels." (1 hour and 22 minutes ago)
• Von Luthius said "In the Origin, Darwin repeatedly insisted on the importance of utter extinction." (1 hour and 22 minutes ago)
• alexnt killed a zombie with a pistol. (1 hour and 18 minutes ago)
• Banokles said "Interesting lecture Von Luthius, does that mean that on Friday Homo Zombian will become utterly extinct? Or is there potentially a specimen left in the wild outside of Malton?" (1 hour and 8 minutes ago)
• A zombie said "Rh mrh rrh grh. Brh, rn arh rrrrh rnrrrrh, rrh an ra rrm m hra rnrh hra rmrh..." (59 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "Thanks for the Vodka Kain. pours myself a glass of vodka" (31 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "To the Bandit Queens! Peace and long life to our members. May life be always worth living for all of us." (29 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "downs the whole glass of vodka" (28 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "Since we are in a library, I would like to share a quote from the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius" (26 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones said " I'm happy to share this Mk1 revibe syringe if anyone wants a taste. If you give yourself juuuuuuust a tiny bit, it really gets the old gray matter sparking." (24 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones said "Don't take too much at once, though. You won't be able to sleep for days." (24 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones said "You don't want to be revived, do you Goreguzzle?" (22 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "Were you to live three thousand years, or even a countless multiple of that, keep in mind that no one ever loses a life other than the one they are living, and no one ever lives a life other than the one they are losing" (22 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "The longest and the shortest life, then, amount to the same, for the present moment lasts the same for all and is all anyone possesses" (21 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "No one can lose either the past of the future, for how can someone be deprived of what's not theirs?" (21 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "**or the future**" (21 minutes ago)
• Dumb Bass said "Let enjoy the last few days together. And once this is all over, I hope all of you are able to focus on a new interest. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be something you find worthwhile" (17 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones said "Like research chemicals?" (12 minutes ago)

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You are 104% encumbered.