Since your last turn:

• Kalei said "Alright, let's gather around now. There's enough blanket for everyone. It's story time. Once upon a time, many moons ago (like a lot of moons. Who counts moons anyway!?), there was a man who lived at the edge of town." (54 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "He had a pet chicken. Now, this wasn't any ordinary chicken. It was a magical chicken. It would grant wishes. It should also be noted, that this chicken was into some kinky things, as it would only grant the wishes when being choked." (52 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "I mean choking a chicken to get a wish, I'm sure many people would do it. Anyway back to the story. After many chokings, and wishes being granted, the man soon found himself being looked upon by many people, with curious desires." (51 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "One day, he decided to ask the chicken, not for a wish, but as a friend, why the people looked upon him so?" (51 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "What cruel wish did you grant upon me, that makes the people look at me with crazed eyes? he asked the chicken." (50 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "The chicken did not respond. With growing frustrations, he asked again, raising his voice! Speak to me chicken, as this is not a wish, but a command! What did you do to make the people stare at me?!" (49 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Still silence. Very well. You want to play rough, I can play rough. he thought to himself. I got it. I can wish the chicken to tell me what it was that makes the people look oddly at me." (48 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Grabbing the chicken by the neck, he squeezed tightly. Now chicken, granter of wishes. I wish for you to bestow upon me, the knowledge of why the townsfolk look upon me with eyes of wonder!" (47 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "And nothing. Chicken. Grant my wish! he yelled, squeezing it harder." (46 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "With his frustrations mounting, a crowd soon began to gather. All staring in bewilderment at the man choking his chicken." (45 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Speak to me chicken. Grant my wish! he screamed, while choking and shaking the chicken violently." (45 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "The police were informed of the gathering crowd and showed up to see what was happening. Chicken, please I beg of you! Grant my wish! he pleaded. Still choking and shaking away!" (43 minutes ago)
• Kalei said " Sir, please put your penis away! demanded the now heavy presence of the police. What drugs have you taken? asked another." (42 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Confused, the man looked down, and saw he was holding himself in his own hand. His hand painted blue with stars, like the wizard hat Mickey wore in Fantasia." (42 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Finally coming to the realization of what was happening, he thought to himself, Well might as well finish." (40 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Furiously, he choked the chicken, harder and faster. The police moved in, to try and stop him. Aiming himself at them, he was able to keep them at bay. That was until one of them pulled out a taser." (39 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Shot in the right butt check, he didn't go down from the initial jolt of electricity. Oh my. he thought to himself. This could be interesting." (38 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Still beating the chicken ferociously, he felt another jolt, and another. Closer and closer he could feel himself getting. Until it happened." (37 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Finally, with enough jolts of electricity pulsing through his body, he fell to the ground. It was around this time as well, that his heart stopped. When the police handcuffed him, and took him to the ambulance, he was already pronounced dead." (36 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Having died, he was now a spirit. A bright light shown down from the heavens, with angels and lovely voices singing hymns to him. He followed the voices. Upon reaching heaven, he walked up to the pearly gates." (34 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "It was there he was greeted by 36 beautiful busty virgins. St. Peter stood there, holding his hand out to stop him from entering. One question, one answer, to see if you may enter. he said." (33 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Well go on. I was a crazed man, and did crazy things in my life. What do I have to lose!? Ask your question!" (32 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Very well said St. Peter. My question is this. What makes a man, a man?" (30 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Thinking to himself, he knew he didn't have a good answer. He once had a herd of tuxedoed cat, who only seemed to kill rats that glowed in the dark." (28 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Looking back on his life, he wondered how he got there. He was up to his neck in the swamp, after he got a John Deere letter from his sweet heart, while watching his buddy's life face down in the mud." (27 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "He had traveled the world. Seeing new, exotic locations. And setting fires in them. How was he, who had committed so many atrocities, able to answer such a question." (26 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "I got it! he thought to himself. I know my answer. Standing up straight, as tall as he could make himself appear. He looked St. Peter in the eyes, as beautiful, busty, naked, ladies danced behind him, waiting on his touch." (25 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "I got your answer, but I have my own question as well. If I answer yours wrong, and you get mine right, I'll respect your commands for my soul. If we both get each others answers wrong, I get to enter Heaven. Deal?" (23 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "St. Peter stood shocked, silently pondering this, as this deal had never been struck to him before. Sure. I can live with that he said, extending his hand." (22 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Very well. The answer to your question is titties. Now before you can tell me if I'm right or wrong, my question. Who came first, me or the chicken?" (20 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Completely dumbfounded, St. Peter had no idea what to say or think!? Well you're wrong on my question of What Makes A Man, A Man, but a deal is a deal. I'll answer your simple question. Chicken. They were put on earth before man, and well before you." (19 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "It was about this time, the man had a strange look on his face. One of, happiness, of release. Wrong he said. It was me. Confused St. Peter realized the man was jerking off the whole time." (17 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "I hope you're happy with yourself. Off to Hell with you! A deal is a deal. You didn't answer my question correctly, and I don't understand how I answered yours wrong. Are you high or something!? St. Peter asked." (16 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Yes. I am high he answered laughingly. I was talking about the chicken behind me, so I came first." (15 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "St. Peter looked, and sure enough, there were 100s of chickens behind him. For you see, this wasn't the mans first rodeo." (14 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "When he first saw himself dying, the medics in the ambulance did try to revive him. He was alive long enough for him to fight them, grab the wheel and crash the ambulance into a semi truck carrying chickens." (13 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "You tricked me! said St. Peter. You had this planned all along, you mad man! What is your name?" (12 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. My name is Sancho Orgazmo Bending Rodríguez. Better known as Sherriff Bart." (10 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "You see Luke, my son. Is it alright if I call you son? I feel like I could be your father. There's been some crazy nights throughout this city, with who knows who any more. Anyways...." (8 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "The moral is that being the first to come is always best. Second place is the first loser, and no one wants to lose. Like the Boy Scouts of America say, My scout master says we don't talk about the camping trip." (7 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "The Girl Scouts, they're the ones you need to watch out for. Just completely crazed cookie pushers. Cocaine. They lace their cookies with it! Charlie helped them back in the 60's, hiding in the trees." (6 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "And with that, I'm going to go wrap myself up in my blanket and have myself a great night. Busty virgins in Heaven.... I can't wait! ;-)" (5 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Don't mind me, I'll just be in the corner. I swear there's a few zombies outside. That's the noises you'll be hearing." (4 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the glow in the dark rats bite!" (3 minutes ago)
• Kalei said "Hey look! My blanket is now a tent!" (2 minutes ago)

Possible actions:

Inventory (click to use):

You are 94% encumbered.