Since your last turn:

• burgleurbrains said "Oh dagum its a party in here" (2 hours and 46 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones said "*sips Gutrot* Love it. Burns you right in the gut." (2 hours and 13 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones said "Well, I'm not going anywhere. I can't really remember where I came from anyway, and I'm pretty sure my original group is long since scattered to the quadrants. Quartly Library is my final home. *lifts gutrot* Cheers all. You were the best ones." (2 hours and 12 minutes ago)
• Tamara Devereux said "A party at last, thank God" (1 hour and 57 minutes ago)
• Skip Jones said "Oh, that nasty zombie infected me. Tsk. I suppose it's appropriate for me to turn into a zombie in the end." (1 hour and 50 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "OFFICIAL MEMORANDUM; 
FROM: The National Audit Office
; TO: Remaining Citizens of Malton
; RE: Preparatory Measures for Imminent Extinction
; CLASSIFICATION: Mandatory Reading" (38 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Attention citizens of Malton. This is The Auditor speaking. I have been tasked with delivering Standardised Extinction Preparation Guidelines as per Section 734.9 of the Apocalypse Management Framework." (38 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "As you may have observed, our collective demise is now scheduled for implementation. Please adjust your diary accordingly." (38 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "The National Audit Office recommends pencilling in extinction rather than using permanent ink, as minor delays may occur due to administrative backlogs." (37 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "You are hereby advised to complete Form EX-273-B, Acknowledgement of Personal Extinction, in triplicate. One copy for your records, one for ours, and one to be sealed in an airtight container for the benefit of whatever species evolves to replace us." (37 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "How thoughtful." (37 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "The Home Office has authorised the issuance of End of Days Survival Kits which contain, rather optimistically I might add, a pencil, a small notepad, and a feedback questionnaire regarding your extinction experience." (37 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Your responses will be invaluable for improving future extinctions." (37 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Citizens are reminded that panic is strictly prohibited under Municipal Ordinance 47.2." (36 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Those wishing to engage in existential dread must first obtain an Emotional Distress Permit from the Department of Inevitable Outcomes, currently operating from a broom cupboard in Quartly Library." (36 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "For efficient processing at extinction centres, please sort yourselves alphabetically and bring two forms of identification. Those whose surnames begin with letters A through Z will cease to exist shortly after lunch. How's that for work-life balance?" (36 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "The Department for Transport advises that the 12:03 to oblivion is running approximately three minutes behind schedule. Mind the gap between existence and non-existence." (36 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "The usual rail replacement bus service will not be offered, for rather obvious reasons." (35 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs would like to remind citizens that tax returns remain due by the standard deadline." (35 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "The fact that you and the entire tax office will no longer exist is, regrettably, not considered a valid exemption under current legislation." (35 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Citizens are encouraged to maintain proper queuing etiquette during extinction proceedings. Nothing says British until the end quite like an orderly queue into the abyss. No pushing, please—we'll all get there eventually." (35 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Those with pre-existing appointments scheduled after the extinction date are advised to contact the relevant authorities to reschedule." (34 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "The National Health Service is currently experiencing higher than normal call volumes, with an estimated wait time of until the heat death of the universe." (34 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "As a cost-saving measure, the traditional one minute of silence to mark our species' passing has been reduced to approximately 17 seconds. Budgetary constraints, you understand. Do make the most of it." (34 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "In conclusion, it has been a pleasure auditing your existence. Please ensure all paperwork is completed correctly before your atoms are scattered across the cosmos." (33 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "The National Audit Office thanks you for your compliance during this challenging transition from being to nothingness." (33 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "This has been an official communication from your government. Have a pleasant extinction." (33 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Form QR-789: Extinction Attendance Confirmation must be signed and submitted upon departure from this realm." (33 minutes ago)
• Faceless Bureaucrat said "Those failing to confirm their extinction may be subject to penalties in the afterlife, assuming one exists, which is not the official position of this office." (33 minutes ago)
• Emoch Noh said "You ever wonder what the outside world is like now?" (28 minutes ago)
• Emoch Noh said "Some of us have been stuck in Malton since the mid 2000s" (27 minutes ago)
• Emoch Noh said "The world out there has probably changed in ways we couldn’t even imagine" (27 minutes ago)
• Emoch Noh said "This city is a time capsule, they wouldn’t understand us and we wouldn’t understand them" (26 minutes ago)
• Emoch Noh said "Maybe its better it ends this way, maybe it’s better we all go out together and let the world move on without us" (26 minutes ago)

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